


Love Triangle

by Stariceling



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Angst, Love Triangle, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-27
Updated: 2004-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:31:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bakura tries to start a relationship with Honda, his other self stirs up trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying my hand at a love triangle. Or is it a love quadrangle? Or maybe I can just call it a love. . . thing. My first real attempt at angst with this pairing, so watch out for the angst-y Bakura. Yaoi, as always, with Honda/Bakura and another pairing to be announced later. Dedicated with many thanks to Nanashi, my wonderful beta reader for this piece.

It was hard to be entirely sure, but Bakura thought he had finally discovered the absolute worst thing about being possessed by an evil spirit on a regular basis. He wished he knew someone else who had the same problem so he could at least talk to a friend who would understand his situation, but even if he did he doubted he would actually be allowed to talk to them.

That was the whole problem. His other self, that other thing lurking in the back of his mind, wanted him to stay away from other people. Not everyone, just the one person he loved. Just the one person he had ever thought he would be able to really confide in.

Bakura had no idea how he was supposed to avoid Honda. His crush on the taller teen had gotten so bad that he could barely look him in the eye without blushing. He was completely caught up in his impossible hopes for any chance he had to be around Honda. He didn’t want to be separated from his crush.

More importantly, Bakura didn’t think that Honda wanted to be separated from him. He hoped he could make a bit of an effort without really driving Honda away, and move on to happier matters. Even as he formed this plan, Bakura knew it wouldn’t work. His other self would not settle for a half-hearted, ineffectual effort. He had to think of something.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Honda had slipped up behind him, and was so close Bakura could feel his breath on the back of his neck. His heart sped up. He didn’t want to get all emotional over Honda with everyone watching.

Only, Bakura realized, no one was watching. Honda had managed to steer him to what Bakura was sure had to be the only stretch of deserted hallway in the school. Bakura couldn’t help thinking that he still didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Honda.

“What did you want to talk about?” Though Bakura knew by now what Honda meant when he said he wanted to talk and dragged him off to a more secluded area, he still kept fearfully expecting the worst.

Honda didn’t bother to talk. He just touched his lips lightly to Bakura’s, making him gasp in surprise. Bakura just couldn’t get used to the idea of Honda liking him the same way he liked Honda. He had expected to wake up and find it was all a dream.

“We don’t have to talk about anything, unless you’re ready to answer.”

Inside Bakura was screaming out how much he loved Honda, but he couldn’t say a word. Already he could feel his darker self stirring at the edge of his mind, warning him not to let anyone get too close. If there could be any reason for Bakura to wish that Honda hadn’t admitted his love and asked if Bakura felt the same, it was that Bakura’s mind was now under even stricter control from the other personality that lurked inside his head.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Honda assured him. Bakura smiled shakily at him. He was more grateful to Honda for somehow understanding him without words than he could show even if he could admit his feelings out loud.

Honda kissed the corner of his mouth gently. Bakura could have happily stayed near Honda all day, but he was already pushing his luck. He was afraid Honda would get hurt if his other self decided to separate the two of them by force.

“Not now. We’ll be late.”

“Later then,” Honda agreed, releasing him. Bakura knew Honda was giving in much too easily. He waited for the catch, and it didn’t take long.

“I want to see you after school,” Honda insisted. Bakura’s mind raced.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Honda was too close to be refused. Bakura wanted to fling himself into Honda’s arms and beg that they leave school together right that minute. The more he reminded himself that he had to stay silent, the louder he wanted to be.

“I don’t want to,” Bakura lied, unable to think of a suitable excuse.

“Fine,” Honda wasn’t angry at all. He didn’t even bother to ask why Bakura wouldn’t want to. Bakura was sure Honda could tell he had lied.

‘See,’ Bakura thought triumphantly, ‘I turned him down and he doesn’t care. I shouldn’t be making a scene trying to get rid of him if it won’t even work.’

Still, it was hard to even try to avoid Honda, and it proved even harder when Honda didn’t want to be avoided. Even when there were other people around them Honda would always be right next to him. It made Bakura feel wonderfully warm, wanted and safe.

Well, maybe not safe. Bakura now had to worry about what would happen if his other self got fed up with him and intervened.

Bakura hoped that by putting a little distance between himself and Honda he could let his darker self gradually get used to Honda and see that he was not a threat.

For now, as much as he knew he would enjoy Honda’s company, especially to be kissed and touched by him, he would have to keep from encouraging Honda too much. As much as he might want Honda’s attention, but he was not yet free to enjoy it.

He finally shook Honda off by claiming to need to visit the school infirmary. This also, Bakura hoped, would be an excuse for his odd behavior and repeated refusals of Honda’s attention. Honda reluctantly let Bakura escape and left him to his fate.

Fate was kind to Bakura. The school nurse was a perpetually suspicious old woman. She had a powerful glare that gave the impression of constant apprisal and the attitude that no student should dare venture into her office without being splattered in blood. She was rumored to be a retired wrestler and could supposedly carry an injured member of the school football team without assistance.

She also had a soft spot for Bakura.

To the few who visited her office often enough for her to become fond of them, she was like a doting grandmother. A grandmother who would look perfectly natural swinging a battle ax, but still a very kind woman.

For the sake of form Bakura claimed that he felt dizzy and needed rest. She knew him well enough to be suspicious that he was hiding from some older student who wanted to torment him, though thanks to Honda he hadn’t needed to hide in a long time. She scolded him lightly for skipping class before letting him lie down on one of the clean cots and pulling the starched curtains closed to let him hide from the rest of the world.

Bakura curled up on his side. Even though he had come here in an attempt to avoid Honda, he couldn’t help wishing that Honda could be here with him. He kept feeling sorry for himself, especially because he was the one causing his own misery.

Bakura gazed around at the bleached, sterilized curtains and cracked ceiling that boxed him in. He felt guilty leading Honda on when he wasn’t free to simply offer up his emotions for what they were.

There was too much turmoil surrounding this subject for Bakura. After a few minutes of the same useless thoughts chasing around his head again and again, Bakura managed to fall asleep.

* * *

Bakura was vaguely aware of someone shaking him. He felt warm and comfortable and he wanted to stay where he was. He batted clumsily at his tormenter without opening his eyes.

“Get up.”

Bakura recognized that voice, though it took his sleepy brain a minute to place it. Kaiba. Bakura tried to ignore him, curling in on himself with a pitiful noise in hopes that Kaiba would just give up and leave him alone.

To Bakura’s surprise, Kaiba softened his grip almost immediately. Bakura opened his eyes in surprise. It was odd enough that Kaiba was trying to wake him up, but now he was even trying to be gentle about it.

“School’s over,” Kaiba told him, as soon as he looked up. Then, job completed, he left with Bakura blinking after him in confusion.

Bakura stalled by slowly making up the cot he had been lying on as he tried to remember the dream he’d been having. He had talked to his other side. It was about Honda, that much he was sure of. He had kept insisting that nothing he could do would drive Honda away.

‘Make him jealous,’ was the advice.

‘Then I’d have to be close to someone else.’

‘Obviously.’

‘How is that better?’

‘Because I told you to do it.’

‘You have something against Honda.’

Anger, annoyance, and frustration had all washed over Bakura, but there were no more words. He didn’t need to be told to know he was right. He was getting used to understanding his other self without words. That was good, since even though he constantly hovered just below Bakura’s consciousness these days, the most Bakura usually heard out of him was a growl.

Sighing, Bakura pushed aside the curtains and stepped out of his sanctuary. He didn’t expect Kaiba to be waiting for him, but he found the young C.E.O. sitting by the door, trying to look nonchalant. Bakura smiled nervously at him.

“Thank you for coming to get me.”

Kaiba shrugged and handed him his bag. Bakura expected that one of the teachers had told him to come, but he still appreciated it.

“Can you get home on your own?”

Bakura tried not to look to shocked. “Yes. I feel much better now,” it was a lie, and Bakura expected that Kaiba could tell. Lying was something he had no real skill for. How was he supposed to feel better knowing his dark side had a personal grudge against Honda?

Bakura trailed silently behind Kaiba as he left the infirmary. The silence scared Bakura a little, but it wasn’t as intimidating as the strong feeling he was getting that the last thing Kaiba wanted to be doing was looking after him.

“Um. . .” Bakura wanted to break the uncomfortable atmosphere, “thank you.”

“You said that already.”

“I can say it again,” Bakura tried to joke.

“Don’t.”

“Oh. . . Okay.” Bakura looked down at his feet quickly. He couldn’t help thinking that Honda would have smiled at that. He always liked it when Bakura tried to be lighthearted.

They were outside at last. As much as Bakura appreciated whatever tiny measure of concern Kaiba might have for him, he hoped Kaiba wasn’t going to end up walking him home.

“Bakura!” Honda was waiting at the school gate, waving vigorously at him. At the sight of Bakura’s friend waiting for him, Kaiba increased his pace to leave the pale-haired teen behind.

“Sleep at home.”

Bakura didn’t have time to be upset by Kaiba’ rough attitude before Honda snatched him up into his arms.

“Honda, I’m fine. I just took a nap.”

Honda shot an angry look at Kaiba’s back, “I wanted to come check on you.”

“That’s okay.” Bakura allowed Honda to lead him away, his heart light. All thoughts of keeping a safe distance between them had temporarily dissolved.

“That old bat lady’s been against me all year,” Honda griped.

Bakura smiled. Mrs. Rando, or ‘the bat lady’ as Honda called her because of her oversized ears and batty attitudes, thought Honda and Jounouchi were a hopeless pair of hooligans. She was very suspicious of anything they did and would never let the two of them out of her sight during class for anything.

“Walk me home?” Bakura suggested. He slipped his hand into Honda’s. Honda was instantly on guard, watching Bakura as if he might collapse at an moment and need to be carried. Bakura couldn’t help enjoying the attention.

They walked in silence, holding hands and exchanging shy glances from time to time. Bakura felt wonderfully light-headed. They were alone. Bakura was sure there was nothing that could stop him from saying whatever tender and loving things he wanted to Honda.

There was one thing, but with his whole mind occupied by Honda, Bakura was able to momentarily forget about it.

“Will you be alright on your own?” Honda squeezed Bakura’s hand. They were at Bakura’s house already. He was concerned of course, but there was something else under that.

“I’d feel better if you were with me.” Bakura knew that was what Honda was hoping for.

“You should sit down.” Honda had his arm around Bakura’s waist as if he needed support. Bakura tried to shake him off.

“Honda I’m fine, really.”

“Sh,” Honda laid one finger over Bakura’s mouth, “I’m taking care of you now.”

“I’m not sick,” Bakura protested, “I just,” he blushed, not wanting to admit he had been just trying to get Honda’s attention, “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“I want to.”

Bakura opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a single argument. He found himself swept up off of his feet and into Honda’s lap.

“I just want to spend time with you,” Bakura admitted at last.

“I’m glad.” Honda kissed Bakura’s hair, making Bakura wonder if Honda really believed he wasn’t sick, and moved to whisper into his ear, “are you ready to answer me?”

“Take that for my answer.” Bakura willed Honda to understand his feelings. He didn’t feel safe putting them into words yet.

It was good enough for Honda. He twined their fingers together and leaned against Bakura, kissing his mouth very softly. Honda pulled back and stared at Bakura before deciding that it was safe to take it a bit further. He pressed Bakura gently down across the couch and kissed him more firmly. Bakura didn’t know how to respond. He had thought Honda’s kisses were amazing before, but now he melted under Honda’s touch.

“Are you okay?” Honda didn’t know what to think of Bakura going limp under him.

“Okay?” Bakura smiled to reassure Honda. “I feel wonderful.” He reached up to trace Honda’s cheek with a wondering expression, “you’re wonderful.”

Looking altogether pleased with himself, Honda bent over Bakura and started kissing him again. Bakura knew from the angry ripples in the back of his mind that he would be in trouble for this later, but it was worth it. Bakura was too happy and had too much love flowing through him for there to be any room for fear.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before.”

Honda gave him another deep, loving kiss before he answered. “I understand you wanted to be sure before you said anything.”

“I was sure. I just can’t. . . I shouldn’t have. . .” Bakura closed his eyes and tried to compose himself. “Call it family problems,” was the closest he could get to the truth.

“I don’t want to come between you and your family.”

“I don’t want this to come between me and you.”

“It won’t. I won’t let anything come between us.” Honda’s promise came so easily, and Bakura found it blissfully easy to believe him.

They made out, exchanging kisses and shy touches instead of words after that. They could have kissed for hours and Bakura didn’t think it would be enough. He knew Honda had to be as happy as he was right now. He would never regret this day.

* * *

As wonderful as things were that day, by the next afternoon Bakura’s life had become infinitely worse. He woke up at home with no idea how he had gotten there. He knew that could only mean one thing. His other side had taken control.

Bakura’s first instinct was to call Honda and make sure that he was unharmed. He forced his hands not to shake as he heard Honda answer the phone.

“Honda?”

There was a tense silence.

“How dare you call me after what you did.”

Terror stabbed at Bakura’s heart. He was afraid to ask, but he had to know. “What did I do?” He hoped that Honda somehow wasn’t as mad as he sounded.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know! You kissed Kaiba! Kaiba! Right in front of me!”

“I did?” Bakura was shaking all over. How was he supposed to smooth over such dirty tactics? “No. I couldn’t have. . .”

“I saw you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Bakura struggled to find something to appease Honda. Foolishly, he settled for the truth, “I don’t remember at all. I thought I just blacked out.”

“Just shut up! I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Honda, please believe me. I wouldn’t want to kiss Kaiba.”

“Shut up!”

“If you won’t believe me, then forgive me,” Bakura pleaded, “I love you so much.”

Honda hung up on him, leaving Bakura to break down into tears. Only a day ago everything had felt perfect, and now this. It took Bakura a few seconds to realize that he had finally let his feelings out and told Honda he loved him, and it didn’t matter to Honda at all.

Nothing hurt more than that thought. His love meant nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we know the other pairing. That sure didn’t stay a secret for long. Only question is do we call it Kaiba/Bakura or Yami Bakura/Kaiba? Heh. I admit it. I’m very partial to a bit of Yami Bakura/Kaiba. I also admit I am just filling up space with my babble.  
> Thank you to Nanashi my wonderful and talented beta reader!

Honda was ignoring him again. It had been three days since whatever it was his other self had done. Both Honda and his darker self stubbornly refused to tell him exactly what had happened. All Bakura knew was that it had involved flirting with Kaiba at an extremely inappropriate time. Crude, but effective.

Bakura didn’t want to know what Honda’s reaction had been. He could be miserable and lonely enough without knowing that. It was Kaiba’s reaction he was worried about. Hopefully, and most likely, Kaiba had been disgusted and rejected whatever it was he had done. Why, then, did Kaiba keep watching him? He hoped Kaiba wasn’t waiting for a repeat of whatever he had done before.

Giving up on his hopes that Honda would return his gaze, Bakura lowered his eyes to his textbook. He had spent one afternoon in Honda’s arms, and he didn’t want to give up so quickly after that. Hadn’t Honda promised him that nothing would come between them? That sure hadn’t lasted long.

The class which teachers insisted on calling ‘silent study period’ reigned in chaos around him. Not feeling brave enough to approach Honda, Bakura settled for watching him out of the corner of his eye. After several minutes Bakura felt Honda’s gaze on him. Over Honda’s shoulder he could just barely see Kaiba, also facing him. Bakura willed Kaiba to look away. He only wanted Honda’s eyes on him.

Bakura tried to get a better look at Honda, only to have him quickly look away. To Bakura’s disappointment, when Honda turned away he discovered Kaiba’s interest in Bakura. He gave Kaiba a dirty look, and soon the two of them were glaring angrily at one another.

Bakura didn’t know if he should be alarmed or flattered. It was hard to believe that Honda and Kaiba might actually be fighting over him, but that did seem to be what was happening.

The glances passing between the three of them were quick and silent. Bakura caught Honda’s eye and gave him a look of hurt innocence. Honda looked guilty and turned away.

Class passed uneventfully after that, and the minute the bell rang Bakura was at Honda’s side. He took that guilty expression as a sign that he still had a chance, and he wasn’t about to waste it.

“I want to talk to you,” Bakura’s voice came out more pleading then he meant it to.

“Then talk.” Honda lingered at his desk, not looking up at Bakura.

“Not here.” Even though most of the class had rushed out at the bell, but Bakura didn’t want to say what he had to say to Honda where other people could overhear.

“Now or never.”

Bakura felt a hot rush of anger. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him want to make Honda mad.

“Okay,” Bakura went quickly up on his toes and kissed Honda. It was just one light, quick kiss but it made their remaining classmates stare. “I’m sorry,” he finished.

Kaiba had already left the room. Too bad, because Bakura would have liked to see his reaction. Honda’s reaction was more than interesting enough to make up for missing it, though.

Honda grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room. Bakura didn’t think to protest as he stumbled along after Honda. It occurred to him that Honda was probably very angry with him, but he was tempted to think that it served him right. It was worth it.

The nearest bathroom was luckily empty, because that was where Honda finally released him.

“Talk,” Honda commanded. Bakura would have loved to do anything Honda asked him to do, but he had no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry,” Bakura faltered, “I know you’re mad at me, but. . .”

“Damn right I’m mad at you. What did you do that for?”

“You’re the one who told me to say it right there!” Bakura protested.

“Not that,” Honda’s anger ebbed a bit. He sounded almost affectionate, “I’m not mad about that,” he touched Bakura’s cheek lightly, “why Kaiba?”

“I don’t know why,” it was the perfect truth, but he knew Honda wouldn’t believe him. “I don’t like him. You should know that.”

“Really,” Honda put his hands on either side of Bakura’s head, trapping him against the cold tile wall. Honda moved in until his face was less than an inch from Bakura’s. “Don’t mess with me,” Honda warned before pressing their mouths together.

Bakura’s instinctive fear at being trapped melted under Honda’s kiss. His arms came up around Honda’s shoulders as he leaning up against Honda.

This time the knowledge that his other self would want revenge for this only made the moment sweeter. Bakura opened his mouth instinctively and let Honda deepen the kiss.

Honda, satisfied with Bakura’s apology, or just pacified by the kiss, stroked Bakura’s hair back affectionately as he spoke to him.

“Promise me you won’t go near Kaiba again.”

“I can’t.” It hurt to refuse Honda anything, but Bakura couldn’t lie.

“You’re going to flirt with him again?”

Bakura flinched, “not if I get a choice. I mean. . .” Bakura bit the inside of his mouth, knowing he had said the wrong thing.

“Bakura,” Honda was instantly on guard. He pinned Bakura again, making him squeak in startled fear, “is Kaiba forcing you?”

“Don’t say things like that!” Bakura ducked under Honda’s arm and bolted. He didn’t see if Honda tried to stop him. He didn’t want to know. If Honda didn’t it would hurt his feelings, if he did then Bakura would have to stay at his side. Things were tangled up even worse then before.

Bakura didn’t stop running until he was safe at home. He stumbled upstairs, threw himself on his bed and gasped for air, clutching at the stitch in his side. Honda might want to forgive him now, but Bakura suspected that the worst was still coming.

* * *

It was bad enough waking up at home with no memory of how he had gotten there. Now Bakura found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom with no idea where he was. This was exponentially worse. Bakura was terrified.

He was still clothed. Bakura took a small measure of comfort in that. He checked himself all over for injury, and, finding none, began to take in his surroundings.

A quick glance out of the window confirmed that he was in unknown territory. Nothing looked familiar. The room was almost entirely bare. No posters or pictures to give him even a single clue as to who he had followed home. Apart from the bed he had woken up on, there was a large desk and a state of the art computer. Two of the walls were completely hidden by shelves dominated by books with titles promising everything from advanced mathematics to ‘a complete history of trade in religious ideals in the classical period.’ It was hard to imagine the room belonging to anyone he would know from school. It felt dead and blank, as though it wasn’t really meant to be lived in.

There was only one thing in the room that didn’t quite fit in with the cold, unlived-in atmosphere. One of the bookshelves closest to Bakura was a splash of color. Instead of books, each shelf held rows of boxes, each labeled neatly with symbols and colors and a row of numbers that made no sense to Bakura. Even the dull shades of purple, brown and green stood out when everything else in the room was the same monotonous grey.

Intrigued, Bakura moved across the room. For the moment his terror was set aside for curiosity. The deep, thick carpet completely swallowed up the sound of his footsteps.

Bakura hesitated for a moment, thinking of simply getting out of the unfamiliar room and finding his way home. In the end his curiosity overpowered him and he pried the lid off of the nearest box. Inside were rows of magic and wizards cards, lined up neatly and precisely so that they filled up the whole box. Bakura hardly dared to touch them, but they gave him a good idea of who’s room he might be in.

Bakura suddenly remembered, just before he had blacked out, Kaiba wanting to speak to him. He had intended to tell him that it was all a big misunderstanding. No point remembering that now. Now the important thing was how he was going to get out of this situation.

“Don’t touch those.”

Bakura turned guiltily, quickly closing the box. “Sorry,” apologized automatically. It didn’t seem good enough, so he added, “I didn’t touch them.”

“It’s. . . okay,” Kaiba sounded distracted. He stepped closer and Bakura instinctively backed up against the shelves. There was nowhere for him to go. Kaiba was gripping the shelves on either side of him, effectively trapping him. Bakura was forcibly reminded of Honda doing the same thing only the day before, but somehow he didn’t think being kissed by Kaiba would make him feel better.

Somehow Bakura managed to realize that Kaiba probably didn’t mean to scare him. If he could just explain that it was a mistake Kaiba would have to understand.

Bakura opened his mouth to explain and Kaiba took this as an invitation to kiss him. Bakura couldn’t protest. He couldn’t even think. Kaiba’s mouth was hot, wet, and painfully intense. It was nothing like the soft kisses Honda had given him.

Honda. The name echoed in his head, making his eyes burn with tears of shame. He was betraying Honda.

“Bakura.”

Bakura couldn’t be sure if Kaiba had spoken, or if it was just in his head. He could almost hear Honda’s voice, echoing slightly as it had in the school bathroom. ‘Don’t mess with me.’

Bakura couldn’t help himself. He sent a silent apology to Honda because there was nothing he could do to resist when Kaiba’s hands moved from the shelf to his back, and pulled him close.

It didn’t even enter his mind to resist as Kaiba led him to the bed and pressed him down onto it. By the time Bakura had collected himself enough to try to escape Kaiba was kissing him again.

Kaiba’s hands were getting into places where Bakura didn’t necessarily want them. He opened his mouth to tell Kaiba to stop only to have it invaded by Kaiba’s tongue. He shuddered as Kaiba’s tongue explored his mouth.

Kaiba started trying to get Bakura’s jacket open. Bakura squirmed under his invading touch. He steeled his nerves and forced himself to be strong.

“Wait,” he commanded, or tried to. No sound came out. Kaiba kissed him again.

Bakura was shivering, almost more afraid that he might enjoy what Kaiba was doing to him than he was afraid of what Kaiba would do.

His jacket was open. Kaiba’s hands fumbled on his chest. The touch and the heat were much more overpowering with one less layer of cloth between them.

“Wait.” This time Bakura’s voice came out clear and strong. Kaiba hesitated and Bakura let his head fall back and his eyes close in relief.

“Stop teasing me.”

“I’m not,” Bakura tried to protest.

“I know what I’m doing. I don’t have to wait.”

Kaiba kissed him again, and Bakura wanted to cry. He didn’t care if Kaiba needed to wait or not. He had been sure that Kaiba would understand if he could just get the words out. Now Kaiba’s hands were making their way up under his shirt as they kissed, and Bakura sunk into despair.

Now each time he got a chance to breathe Bakura let out little cries and whimpers, unable to force out any words.

Kaiba didn’t like hearing Bakura’s sobs and wordless protests. He didn’t know how to deal with them either.

“Stop that,” Kaiba grabbed a handful of Bakura’s hair and pulled it. Bakura could feel his other self’s anger boiling just below the surface of his mind. His thoughts were swept clear by a rush of anger and fear. He was not going to be taken over now. His other side was not using his body for this! Not with Kaiba!

“NO!” Bakura shoved Kaiba away and scrambled backward off of the bed. Tears welled up in his eyes and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He didn’t dare to take his eyes off of Kaiba even to blink.

“Bakura, what?” Kaiba moved around the bed toward him, looking confused.

Bakura stumbled backwards until he ran into one of Kaiba’s bookshelves. He squeezed himself into the gap between one shelf and the next and wrapped his arms around himself protectively.

“What did I do?” Kaiba’s hands were gentle as they settled on Bakura’s shoulders. He was genuinely concerned.

“Don’t touch me!” To Bakura’s surprise, Kaiba let go. Eyes fixed on Kaiba’s face, Bakura slowly slid to the floor.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Me? Why were you kissing me? How did I get here?” Bakura pressed back into his tiny sanctuary and wished he could really hide.

“What are you talking about?” Kaiba was too close. He was scaring Bakura very badly. “You’re the one who’s been coming on to me. You insisted on coming home with me.”

“I didn’t,” Bakura tried to protest, “I’ve barely even talked to you.”

“This isn’t funny.”

Tears escaped down Bakura’s face. “I know.”

With an angry noise, Kaiba stalked out of the room, or at least out of Bakura’s field of vision. Bakura stood and tried not to shake. After a few minutes he stepped out and glanced around cautiously. Kaiba was gone.

Bakura decided to run for it. The minute he stepped into the hall he ran right into Kaiba.

Kaiba shoved a handful of tissues at him. Bakura wiped his eyes gratefully and tried to stop crying. “Get out.”

Bakura was only too glad to obey. He took a quick look left and right, and chose the direction that looked most promising.

Kaiba grabbed his arm and dragged him in the opposite direction. Bakura went along with him, trusting he had to know where he was going. Kaiba forcibly steered him down the stairs and out of the house. Bakura managed not to sigh in relief.

“Next time you kiss me you had better mean it,” Kaiba warned.

“Then don’t let me kiss you,” was all Bakura could think of to say. He knew it sounded like an insult, but he couldn’t help that. He dashed down the driveway, grateful to be out.

Bakura forced himself to stop and wipe his eyes once he was out of Kaiba’s sight. He knew Kaiba hadn’t meant to scare him, but that didn’t help him stop shaking.

“Bakura?”

Bakura forced himself to keep his head down. He recognized Honda’s voice, and the last thing he wanted right now was for Honda to see him crying.

“What happened to you?” Bakura would have liked to start walking, to pretend that he hadn’t heard Honda, but it was too late now. Honda’s hands were cupping his face and forcing him to look up.

“Nothing.”

“You know you’re a lousy liar, Bakura. Was it Kaiba?”

“No.” Bakura reached up and caught Honda’s hand with his own. As much as he loved getting attention from Honda this was leading to things that he didn’t want Honda to know. “I’m fine now.”

“If he touched you, I swear I’ll-” Honda punched his fist into his free hand menacingly. Bakura forced a smiled for Honda’s sake.

Honda started back towards Kaiba’s house, and Bakura grabbed hold of his arm to stop him. “Wait. Don’t-” Honda gave him a look that made his heart go cold. Honda thought he was trying to protect Kaiba. But this wasn’t for Kaiba. This was for him.

“Walk me home?” Bakura leaned against Honda’s arm. “I don’t want you to leave me.” He didn’t know when the next problem would rear up. He only wanted Honda at his side as long as he was willing to be.

Honda nodded and wrapped one arm comfortingly around Bakura. Even Honda’s protection couldn’t keep his own inner demons away, but for now. . . it was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Bakura allowed Honda to follow him home. He was grateful for Honda’s arm, which stayed wrapped firmly around his shoulders. The gentle pressure helped him keep going. Honda kept pushing him forward when he would have liked to just collapse somewhere and stay there. For the moment Bakura was glad to depend on Honda’s strength instead of his own.

All too soon Honda’s strength and his stubborn will would all be turned against him in an attempt to unearth information that Bakura didn’t want to share. Limply, Bakura let Honda take his key from him and practically carry him into his apartment. He didn’t feel like crying anymore. Now he just felt numb.

“Sit down.”

Bakura obeyed without complaint. Honda sat beside him and wrapped his arms around him. Bakura wished he could relax into Honda’s arms, but he was afraid to.

“Please stop.”

Honda loosened his grip a little and stroked Bakura’s hair in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Guilt pressed at Bakura’s heart. His confession spilled out half-formed. “I really did kiss him. I kissed Kaiba.” Bakura shook his head, eyes closed in fear of seeing Honda’s face. “I didn’t want to,” he tried to explain, “but still I. . .”

Honda gently cupped Bakura’s face between his hands, and Bakura opened his eyes in surprise at the gentle touch. “Shouldn’t you be mad at me?”

“I’m not mad,” Honda assured him. “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Did he force you?”

“No,” Bakura insisted, “he didn’t mean to. I mean, I tried to tell him to stop, but I couldn’t.” Bakura wished he could stop talking, but he had to press on with his explanation before Honda could blame Kaiba for something that he hadn’t meant to do. “I couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know. It wasn’t. . .”

Honda silenced Bakura with his hand. “It’s okay. As long as you’re not hurt I can deal with Kaiba later.”

Bakura bit the inside of his mouth unhappily. Honda wasn’t listening to him at all, and was determined to have exactly the confrontation that Bakura wanted to prevent.

“I do have my priorities straight, you know,” Honda told Bakura, not seeming to notice his unease. He gave Bakura a light kiss on the corner of his mouth.

It was nothing like being kissed by Kaiba, Bakura remembered before he could stop himself. He managed to feel relieved by this, even as tears of shame gathered up in his eyes again. He had always thought that if he could have someone he liked actually feel the same way then everything around him would just suddenly be perfect. How had he managed to mess this up?

Honda didn’t say a word as Bakura hid his face in his hands and tried not to start crying again. He just hugged Bakura tight and let the silent tears soak his shirt.

Grateful for Honda’s silence, Bakura let go and sobbed himself dry. Honda hung on to him until he began to forget why he was crying, and only knew that he was safe and warm and didn’t want to move because all of the reasons he had to be happy might just fade away from him again.

Bakura’s shudders slowly calmed. Even when he had gotten his tears under control he didn’t want to move. He just wanted to lay limp in Honda’s arms and savor the feeling of being safe and loved.

“He really didn’t hurt me,” Bakura knew Honda wouldn’t believe him, but he had to try, “it’s just that I can’t believe I kissed someone else.”

“I’m not going to blame you instead of Kaiba.”

“I don’t want you to blame anybody.”

Honda didn’t reply. He just lifted Bakura into his arms. Not wanting to be let go of him again, Bakura clung as he was carried out of the room.

“What are you doing?” Bakura asked, his face pressed into Honda’s hair.

“I’m putting you to bed.” Honda shifted Bakura slightly in his arms so that he could carry him easily into the his bedroom. Bakura tensed and felt the all-too-familiar press of panic around his heart. He found this almost as terrifying as the thought of going to bed with Kaiba. Now remembering how Kaiba had not listened to him, he had to fight back the fear that Honda would do the same.

“Wait,” Bakura started. He made the mistake of looking up onto Honda’s face, and suddenly found himself unable to speak.

“Don’t try to talk,” Honda soothed. He lay Bakura down on his bed, and started to stroke his hair, trying to make him relax. “You should rest.”

Bakura suddenly didn’t have the strength to even feel embarrassed by his sudden relief. Honda wasn’t trying to take advantage of him. He just wanted to take care of him. And, Bakura realized, Honda was right about him needing rest. He was tired out and his head ached from crying.

Bakura grabbed hold of Honda’s arm and hung on, making it impossible for him to leave without using force to remove Bakura. “Stay with me.”

Honda sighed in defeat, lay down next to Bakura and gathered him into his arms. Bakura snuggled up to him, glad to have Honda with him, at least for a little while longer. At least for the moment he didn’t have to worry about Honda comparing notes with Kaiba and somehow discovering everything. All he could hope now was that he could keep Honda out of trouble by making him stay at his side.

“I’ll stay right here until you fall asleep.”

Better than nothing. Now all Bakura had to really worry about was staying awake. Maybe Honda would stay until he forgot about being angry. There was at least one thing he could do that might help Honda forget faster.

“I really love you,” Bakura told Honda, reaching up to take his love’s face between his hands, “don’t you want me to prove it?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Bakura moved Honda’s face closer so that he could kiss him softly. He kept his mouth pressed into Honda’s until he could feel Honda smiling.

Honda hugged him a little closer as they traded sweet kisses. He was being especially affectionate today. Bakura didn’t know if it was because he finally believed that Bakura loved him, or if he just felt sorry for him after seeing him cry, or what other source his affection might be growing from. All he knew was that he wanted to enjoy Honda’s tenderness for as long as he could.

Snuggling up to Honda’s chest, Bakura sighed in happiness and relaxed. He could kiss Honda again in a minute, but now he needed to rest. Honda would be staying next to him for a long time, he was sure, but now he just needed to rest his eyes. Just for a few minutes.

Bakura couldn’t be sure how much later he woke up. For a moment all he knew was that he was warm and comfortable. It wasn’t because Honda was still with him, but because he was tucked snugly in his bed. He closed his eyes again, hating the sight of the empty room. Honda had left him. He had wanted Honda to stay. Now all he could hope was that Honda wasn’t off doing what Bakura knew he must be doing. Honda must have gone to confront Kaiba.

* * *

“Does it even occur to you that I have a company to run?”

Honda would have liked to point out that Kaiba seemed to have more than enough time to waste seducing Bakura. Instead he settled for a glare and the obvious, “tell me what you did to Bakura and I’ll leave you alone.” As much as he would like to pick a fight with Kaiba, he knew that it was more important to get answers for Bakura so that he could get back to comforting Bakura.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Not a good sign, Honda thought as he followed Kaiba. He was too confident. Obviously Kaiba couldn’t have Bakura hidden away somewhere. He had left Bakura safe and asleep at home.

Kaiba led him up into up into his bedroom. Even though he tried to avoid it, Honda’s eyes were drawn to the bed. The covers were wrinkled and pushed to one side. Honda couldn’t help morbidly wondering what had happened to Bakura here.

Kaiba busied himself at the desk. Honda peered over his shoulder to keep his eyes off of the bed. Kaiba seemed to be scrolling through security tapes. All Honda could do to occupy himself was try not to feel sick thinking of Bakura.

“You have cameras in your room?” Maybe he was wrong assuming that whatever had happened had happened here. Maybe it wasn’t even Kaiba’s room. Honda was trying not to think too deeply on what was going on here.

“I’m the only one who has to access to these,” Kaiba told him, as an excuse.

Honda normally wouldn’t have cared, but it was his Bakura that Kaiba was filming. Protectiveness surged up in him. He instinctively wanted whatever was on those tapes deleted so that Kaiba could never ogle his Bakura again.

“Watch,” Kaiba instructed. He had finally found the right time.

Jealousy rose like fire into Honda’s chest as he watched Kaiba and Bakura together. There was no sound to accompany the video, but it looked like Bakura was flirting with Kaiba, teasing him. He kept touching Kaiba, and seemed completely sure of himself. It hurt Honda to watch him like that, especially because Bakura had always been so shy around him.

He was acting so different from his normal self. Something slowly occurred to Honda. A flash of red, evil eyes confirmed it. This made the situation both better and worse.

Kaiba was making some excuse, trying to leave. Bakura kept teasing. Honda thought he saw Bakura’s mouth form the words ‘little boy’ with a smirk.

The Kaiba on the screen left, face flushed from Bakura’s last comment. Bakura smiled after him looking evil and satisfied. The real Kaiba next to him was flushing a little too, probably remembering something embarrassing Bakura had said.

They saw the change come over Bakura almost instantly. He stumbled, then collapsed on the bed. Honda moved a little closer, as if he could get to Bakura through the video. He knew instinctively that this was his Bakura, the one he knew and loved, and he wanted to be as close to him as possible.

Bakura revived quickly and first checked himself all over in fear. Uncertainly he got to his feet, walking around. His fear was obvious. He suddenly didn’t know where he was.

Kaiba got to his feet, knocking over his chair in his haste. “No,” he whispered. He seemed to have forgotten that Honda was there. “What did I. . .” He glanced at Honda, then reached to turn off the computer, but Honda stopped him.

“I still want to see what you did,” he insisted. Soon, however, he discovered that he really didn’t want to see. The vision of Kaiba pushing Bakura back onto his bed, kissing him passionately the whole time, bordered on obscene for Honda. He let Kaiba turn off the computer.

“He really does have a split personality,” Kaiba muttered to himself. “I didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t remember.”

Honda had worse things to worry about than Kaiba now. “Just delete the footage.”

Kaiba nodded, staring numbly at his newly blank monitor. Honda left him there. He wanted to be back with Bakura as soon as possible. He trusted Kaiba to delete every second of tape, since that footage had to bother him just as much as it bothered Honda.

Bakura did love him after all. That thought made Honda glow with happiness, but the other Bakura was obviously set against him. He didn’t know how he was going to get around that.


	4. Chapter 4

Honda couldn’t wait to be back at Bakura’s side. He hoped Bakura was still asleep, since it would be better for him if he didn’t know that Honda had left at all.

Honda had no luck. Bakura was awake, and he resisted when Honda tried to hug him in greeting. He must have realized that Honda had gone to talk to Kaiba, even after he had begged him not to.

“You shouldn’t just walk into other people’s houses.” Bakura wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“I wanted to get back to you before you woke up,” Honda started, meaning to apologize. He tried to soothe Bakura by wrapping his arms around him from behind, but Bakura refused to cooperate and jerked away.

“And what were you planning on doing to me while I was asleep?”

“Nothing,” Honda was taken aback by Bakura’s anger. He had expected him to be upset, but he hadn’t expected this. “I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

“Too late.” Bakura turned around, and Honda could barely keep from groaning as he recognized the glare. Bakura had his dueling deck with him, and he was fingering it as if he would like to sic a few of his monsters on Honda. “You made him cry.”

“I-”

“My head aches,” Bakura stepped closer menacingly, “because you made him cry.”

“Let me talk to him.”

Bakura’s lips curled into a cruel smile, glad to at least be depriving Honda of something. “No.” Honda clenched his hands into fists. He would have liked to hit this hateful imposter, but he knew enough about him to realize that this would be a bad idea, unless he wanted to come face-to-face with Bakura’s man-eater bug. He had to settle for growling instead.

Bakura was too frustrated to pay attention to him. He turned his back on Honda and rubbed his temples angrily. Honda tensed up, getting ready to attack if he got the chance.

“Pathetic,” Bakura muttered, “can’t even think to walk out of the room,” he lapsed into a series of curses under his breath that made no sense to Honda. Honda edged closer. He knew from experience that if he could get at the ring Bakura was wearing, he could get his normal Bakura back, at least for a little while.

“You!” Bakura turned on him, “This is your fault!”

Anger was a hot flash through Honda’s brain. He refused to be accused of harming Bakura. Not when he had tried to help him. Not by this thing that routinely took over Bakura’s body. Not when he loved Bakura as much as he did.

With an angry noise he tackled Bakura against the wall. He managed to force the deck out of Bakura’s hands and cards flew in all directions, slowly settling to the floor as Honda held Bakura, or rather the thing occupying his body, to the wall.

“Let me see him.”

“No.”

Honda struck him in the face with a half-formed fist, feeling both sickened and pleased as the spirit’s head snapped back and hit the wall with a loud ‘thud.’

“Let go of Bakura.”

Face twisted in rage, Bakura spat out a stream of curses in various languages. Honda felt worse than sick seeing Bakura like that.

“It’s not funny!”

Bakura smirked at him, and Honda’s blood chilled a little at the evil look. After a few seconds the smirk dissolved into an expression of hurt and fear.

“Honda,” Bakura gasped, his wide eyes quickly filling with tears of pain, “Why. . . What are you doing?”

Honda would have liked to swear at his own stupidity, but he settled for transferring Bakura into his arms. “Don’t cry,” he pleaded softly, “don’t start crying.” Honda could hardly believe himself. It was still Bakura’s body, no matter who or what was using it to taunt him.

Bakura sniffed miserably, but he was trying to do as Honda asked. Honda wanted to console him. He wanted to make up for hitting him. He loved Bakura too much to want to hurt him.

“Why?” Bakura asked again, “are you mad at me?”

Honda shook his head, “I was fighting with that other you,” he tried to explain. “He’s the one who seduced Kaiba.” Honda hesitated, then asked, “have you been crying over me?”

“You hit me,” Bakura reminded him, making Honda feel even more guilty.

“I know, but I meant,” Honda took one hand away from Bakura and ran it through his hair in frustration, “before that.”

Bakura bit his lip, making Honda suspect very strongly that the answer had to be yes. He wanted to hold Bakura tight, to kiss him and make him smile again, but he was too scared that Bakura would be afraid and shy away from him.

“It was because I wasn’t supposed to see you,” Bakura explained, he hesitantly caught Honda’s hand and touched it shyly to his cheek. Honda stroked his cheek with his thumb, endeared by the shyness of this gesture. Bakura continued with a nervous smile, “I’m glad you didn’t put up with that.”

Honda was glad for that too. Now he understood Bakura’s reluctance to admit any affection for him, though he had obviously enjoyed their time together.

Something else was bothering him. “Why weren’t you supposed to see me?”

Bakura resisted for a few seconds, teetering on the edge of an answer. He held the words in and touched the artifact hanging around his neck with a trembling hand.

“I always thought you didn’t know about. . .” Honda took his hand away from Bakura’s cheek. Bakura almost wilted, sensing Honda’s frustration turning away from his other half and onto him.

“There’s nothing I can do to control it,” Bakura tried to explain. Honda sighed. He understood, even though he didn’t want to. Obviously Bakura didn’t want to be blamed for something he had no control over. Not only that, but he had probably been ordered not to tell Honda why he was avoiding him anyway. The whole situation was just stupid.

“It’s okay,” Honda muttered under his breath. Bakura sat up uneasily, and after a few seconds of hesitation, he leaned forward and kissed Honda.

“I know it’s not okay.”

Unable to think of anything else to say, Honda wrapped one arm around Bakura and kept silent. Bakura snuggled up against him for a minute before tilting his head up to kiss Honda lightly on the mouth.

Honda hated feeling so helpless. There was nothing he could do to help Bakura with this, and he hated feeling helpless. He didn’t even want to be around him right now knowing that there was nothing he could do.

“Maybe you should get some more rest.” Honda could tell from the wounded look in Bakura’s eyes that he knew Honda intended to leave him. Honda had to look away. He couldn’t stand seeing that hurt look in Bakura’s eyes. He wanted to shout out excuses. He wanted to explain that there was nothing he could do.

Bakura’s hand rested on his arm, so light that Honda had to look to be sure that he wasn’t imagining it. “Can we try this again?”

Honda stood abruptly, leaving Bakura behind. He wanted some time to think things over, “It’s not you.”

Bakura stood and put a restraining hand on Honda’s arm again. Honda sighed. He couldn’t leave Bakura like this, even if he could stand to force that hand away.

“Bakura, you’re possessed by this. . . thing. . . that would love to, who knows, rip my fingernails out to punish me for putting my hands on you.” Honda clenched his fist in frustration as Bakura leaned against his back. “Don’t you think that would put a damper on our relationship?”

“But that’s not me,” Bakura whispered, his hands clenching in Honda’s shirt. “Can’t we just start over? Can’t you just try? You have to know I’d never want to hurt-”

“I know,” he told Bakura, gently, “I know that’s not the Bakura I love.” After a few minutes of comfort, though, he still ended up leaving Bakura alone.

* * *

Bakura lay quietly in his room, alone except for a shadowy copy of himself moping on the other side of his bed. He was exhausted, too tired to cry again, and this time he found himself simply unable to believe all of Honda’s reassurances.

“It’s your fault.” Bakura turned on his side and curled up into a protective little ball. He normally knew better than to accuse his darker half of anything, but right now he just didn’t care.

A cold hand settled in his hair, making Bakura close his eyes and tense up, but all he got was a sharp tug on his hair.

“What did you think I was trying to do?”

So that was it. It was because the spirit from the ring was proud of what he had done that Bakura wasn’t getting a harsher punishment. Bakura felt detached. He couldn’t bring himself to care what happened to him anymore, and now he just couldn’t leave the subject alone.

“Why couldn’t you just let me be with him?”

No answer beyond a second tug on his hair.

“What do you have against Honda?” Bakura demanded.

Another tug on his hair and a sullen grunt.

“I hate you!”

Nothing. Not even another pull at his hair. Bakura opened his eyes to find an almost perfect copy of himself leaning over him. He noted idly that for belonging to someone he could see through, the hand in his hair was curiously strong.

“Not my fault your boyfriend walked out on you.”

The icy tone prodded something hidden deep in Bakura, and anger bubbled up to the surface, “how is it not your fault? He thinks you’re going to rip his fingernails out! Why do you have to act like this!?”

His other self chuckled evilly, amused by Bakura’s outburst, “if I was going to start ripping things off I’d go for something that doesn’t grow back.” There was another tug on his hair, but it was lighter than the previous ones.

“What do you mean, if?” A tiny hope was lighting up inside of Bakura’s chest. He carefully buried it.

His other self made a frustrated noise, as if it was entirely beneath him to answer. That was all Bakura needed to make up his mind. He turned his face away to hide his smile.

“You are going to do exactly as I tell you,” a stern tug on his hair accompanied the command.

Bakura allowed himself a few seconds of bliss. “Of course,” he agreed. A few ground rules were nothing if he could be with Honda without the threats that had been hanging over his head.

* * *

Honda still felt a little guilty about the decision he had made. There was a part of him that had desperately wanted to stay with Bakura yesterday, but he needed some time to think. He just hoped the decision he had come to wouldn’t hurt Bakura. Honda knew that he had been through enough for one week.

After class Bakura finally worked up the courage to approach him with a timid smile. Jounouchi took one look at the two of them and got out of the way. That was fine with Honda. He was nervous enough without other people watching.

“I want to talk to you,” Honda put his hand hesitantly on Bakura’s. Strange. He felt just as nervous as he had the first time he had done this. “Can I walk you home?”

“I wanted to talk to you too,” Bakura started, but Honda shook his head to silence him. He waited until they were out of sight of the school before he spoke again.

“I wanted to tell you,” Honda tried to remember the exact words he had used before, struggling for inspiration. “I like you Bakura. I mean I really, really,” Honda couldn’t believe himself. He had never been that good with fancy phrases, but this should be different. He honestly felt this. “I really like you.”

“You still. . .” Bakura’s hand curled around his.

“You said you wanted to start over.”

Bakura stopped walking and stared at him for a few seconds, as if he couldn’t believe that this was real. Then he flung himself into Honda’s arms, crying out in happiness, “I love you! I love you so much. I can’t. . . Honda. . . oh thank you.”

Honda couldn’t help smiling as he caught Bakura. No perfect, articulate speech for Bakura either, but it got the point across. Bakura’s feelings were out and spoken at last. He hadn’t even gotten to ask if Bakura liked him back this time.

As if he could read his mind, Bakura added, “I’m sorry you had to wait so long for my answer.”

“It’s worth it.” Honda savored the feeling of Bakura’s warm, loving body in his arms and he went farther in his head, testing out truths he might be prepared to add on to that statement someday. It was worth it. Bakura was worth it. He was perfect. Honda loved every defect. Except. . .

“And that other thing?” He stroked Bakura’s hair. He was about to say that he wouldn’t let any evil spirit’s antics come between them when Bakura interrupted him.

“It’s okay. We. . . talked.”

Honda didn’t comment. He wasn’t going to press Bakura for answers on this, though he had an idea of what he hoped had happened. He hoped that Bakura stood up for himself at last. That he had found something in Honda worth fighting for. He hoped he could somehow help Bakura have the strength to fight off his own inner demons. All he could do now for now was hold him.

For now it would be enough.


End file.
